Oh, The Places We Will Meet
by cue-the-sun
Summary: How did it come to this? How did I end up here? I, Edward Cullen, was hiding from a girl. In a Port-A-Potty. Utterly pathetic. AH/M


AN/ Hey guys, this is a random, sort of silly, idea that has been in my head for a little while, and I thought you'd rather me get something out rather than nothing before I moved into my new apartment:) So this will probably be a little 2 shot maybe? Let me know what you think, or I might just delete it, I don't know. Back to packing now!

Oh, The Places We Will Meet

Chapter 1

How did it come to this? How did I end up here? This is fucking pathetic. I, Edward Anthony Cullen, am hiding from a girl. In a Port-A-Potty. It doesn't get much more pathetic than this.

Damn you Alice. Why did you have to drag me to this damn concert? If you didn't like such shitty music, then I wouldn't be in a damn Port-A-Potty right now. I wouldn't have run into Tanya.

But of course, there was no saying "No" to my sister. If I had even considered not agreeing, she would have pulled that fucking pathetic puppy-dog face and I would become wrapped around her little finger once again.

_God it fucking smells in here._

How the fuck and I possibly going to get myself out of this mess? Sighing, I resigned myself to the fact that my entire day was, quite literally, down the drain. I crossed my arms, trying not to touch any of the disgusting plastic walls.

My shitty day seemed to start the minute I woke up late and didn't have time to get coffee. Work seemed to last much longer than 9 to 5, and even though I am the boss, more people than normal seemed to need my help today on the dumbest shit possible.

What do I even pay them for?

I was on my way home, looking forward to a relaxing night alone when Alice called and informed me I was coming to a damn Pop concert with her tonight. Apparently her roommate from college (who she is always trying to set me up with) had to work and couldn't go with her. I have never met her, but I am kind of wishing I had the same excuse she did.

But like a good big brother I went with Alice and look where the fuck it has got me.

In a Port-A-Potty.

Technically speaking, that last bit wasn't really Alice's fault. I had been trying to ditch Alice when I had run into Tanya, so I guess that was my fault. Not really _ditch her_ ditch her, maybe just go sit in my car until the damn thing was over. It was fucking freezing out here. Why would you have a concert outside, in winter in _Chicago_? Was I the only one freezing my balls off?

But yeah, as soon as I had made it halfway to the car, I had run into Tanya. Karma, I guess, for leaving Alice.

Tanya was still as repulsive as ever. I mean fuck, with the hair flipping, high heels and bright nails, she was a hot pink mess. But regardless of her looks, it was her personality that disgusted me. She giggled too loud and talked too much and was way too shallow.

It had taken me forever to get rid of her, and the only place I had to hide was in here.

_God, this sucked._

Suddenly, a loud crash alerted me to the door flying open and shut in a matter of seconds as a blur of color flew in and rattled the entire structure.

I looked up, startled, as the door was latched closed again before I could say anything.

The girl that had just flown in was now leaning with her hands against the door, panting and her head hung in between her arms, dark windblown hair curtaining over her shoulders and around her face, shielding her from me.

Should I…say something?

"…I'm, erm, in here, um…" I settled on mumbling this, trying to not scare her, but it seemed to have the exact opposite effect. The girl gasped and spun around in her chucks and fell into the wall opposite of me, clutching her throat in shock.

On instinct, I put my arms around her and caught her before she fell into the shit hole.

She had very nearly tripped the entire frame over.

"Woah…" I mumbled out on a laugh, as she steadied herself in my arms and looked up at me.

She shook her head and the mass of curls I noticed before tumbled off her shoulder, sweet-smelling and pretty. Our eyes met, her wild, caramel ones reflecting my own back at me.

"Woah…" I whispered out quietly, for and entirely different reason.

For one prolonged minute, I wondered if I was dreaming. But I would have never been able to think up those fucking doe eyes.

Her skin was completely flawless, creamy and smooth, and as I stared, the skin high on her cheekbones turned the color of milky rose petals, spreading down her neck.

She was blushing…? That was so refreshing. It seemed like forever since I had met any women who still blushed. I wonder how far down the blush went? Would it stop at her collarbones? Or did her entire body flush? All the way down to…

I inhaled sharply, suddenly realizing how close to kissing her I was. I pulled my arms back suddenly, almost throwing her to the floor, but she steadied herself in time. I only now realized she was holding a huge black messenger bag across her back and she seemed to be pulled down on one side because of it.

Trying to be a fucking gentleman, I helped her slide the huge bag off of her shoulder and onto the floor at her feet.

"What do you have in there, a dead body?" I joked lamely, too caught up in trying not to jump her to be charming.

Thankfully she laughed, and it sent a shiver up my spine. "No," She said, and her voice was like Goddamn honey. "It's just my camera equipment. It's kind of heavy, huh?"

"Kind of? Have you been carrying this around by yourself? No lackeys?"

"No, No lackeys. Listen, I am so sorry for barging in here on you. God, I just didn't even think to knock, you know, because I didn't think anyone would be desperate enough to use these things, and –oh God, not that you were desperate –well, I mean, I guess you could have been, I mean, I don't know obviously –I mean, um…shit." She stopped suddenly, and I could barely hold in a laugh.

I couldn't help grinning as I told her "No, I wasn't desperate. I was just, um, hiding." Damn if that didn't sound fucked up. "What about you? Why were you rushing in here, looking like someone was chasing you? Wait…was someone chasing you?" My eyebrows furrowed and I became suddenly angry at an unknown person.

The girl seemed to notice my sudden anger, but not understanding it anymore than I did, she continued.

"Oh, um, no…it's just…God, this sounds so silly now. But I was hiding in here from this guy –we used to date, but we broke up a few years ago in college, and he has some silly notion that we should get back together, I guess, because he has been following me around since I got here. He's been driving me insane, and I –well, I just had to get away…"

Shocked at the similarity of our situations, I laughed out loud and interrupted her.

"Really? That's hilarious! Oh wait, not that he was following you, but, well, I'm hiding in here from an old college girlfriend too. My sister dragged my ass here and I ran into my ex Tanya. She's even more annoying than I remember."

What were the chances? It almost seemed unbelievable.

"Oh God, I know what you mean. James is still a pretentious douche bag. I don't even remember a time when I was attracted to him, honestly." She laughed.

I smiled at her laugh. "Does he have long blood red nails and a hyena laugh?"

Giggling, she told me no. "But he does make innuendos out of every sentence and thinks he's God's gift to woman kind. Oh, and he wears his shirts 4 sizes too tight."

Laughing, I told her we could just call it a tie, and she smiled at me. "He was actually a blind date during college that my friend Alice set me up with, and she hasn't stopped yet. She is still trying to set me up with every guy she passes on the street. I can find my own dates, thanks. Annoying pixie." She smiled sweetly.

I wanted to fucking jump up and down at the fact that she was single, but one word stuck with me.

"Did you say Alice? Pixie?" Fucking weird. It couldn't be the same Alice, right? My sister, the annoying little pixie who thought she was the best matchmaker in the world?

"Yes." She said curiously.

"Alice…Cullen, possibly?" Goddamn if _this_ girl was Bella, Alice's college roommate, who she had been trying to set me up with forever –well then I was the biggest fucking idiot in the world for always 'having plans' whenever she wanted to set us up.

"Um, yeah, how...did _you_ know that?" She bit her lip and I paused, watching her teeth sink into red lips.

I cleared my throat, holding out my hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Edward Cullen, Alice's big brother."

Taken aback, she stumbled back a step, and then seemed to remember she couldn't go very far. She stared at me for a minute, and after what seemed like forever finally slid her palm into mine.

We both sucked in a deep breath at the same time. A spark had jumped from her hand to mine, or maybe the other way around, but it was different then anything I had ever felt before. We seemed to be radiating energy from out clasped hands.

Suddenly she dropped my hand and cleared her throat. "Sorry." She said, looking down. "Must be static."

I hummed in acknowledgement, even though I was pretty fucking sure that that was no static electricity.

It was quiet for a minute, and then she spoke softly. "Oh! I'm Bella Swan, by the way. If you didn't already know. I've heard a lot about you from Alice." She blushed, looking down at our feet.

I smiled at her sudden shyness. "Nice to meet you Bella," "I think we were supposed to be set up on a blind date a time or two."

She bit her lip and giggled adorably. "I think you're right."

After smiling at each other for a few moments, Bella pursed her lips and looked around at the walls.

She blew out a breath. "This sucks." She stated bluntly. I laughed at her.

"Really? You don't like being trapped in smelly, two by two areas with gorgeous men you've just met?" I said curiously, like I couldn't believe it.

"Gorgeous? Don't you mean _egotistical_?" She smiled.

"And I think you're in denial." I said, ignoring her comment. "I think you like being stuck in here. In fact, you probably did it on purpose, barging in here."

"No I didn't! And anyway, I'm freezing. It's like 20 degrees in here."

"Better in here where there is no wind, though." I pointed out.

"Yeah, who holds a concert outside in the middle of winter anyway? My gig was over and I was about to leave this dumb ass Pop concert when –oh shit, do you like Pop? I mean, I know you said Alice dragged you here, but…" She cut herself off nervously.

I smiled. "Not at all, don't worry about offending me. Go on."

"Well, I was just saying that I only had to photograph the opening acts and then another photographer was taking the headlining singer, so I was about to leave when I bumped into James."

"I know how you feel. I was about to go sit in my car and wait for Alice when Tanya was suddenly at my side and screeching in my ear about not having seen me in for_ever." _I imitated in a high-pitched voice, and Bella laughed.

"God how are we going to get out of this?" Bella asked with a groan, and I was happy she included me.

"I have no idea. Tanya will probably want to come home with me." I shuddered and Bella laughed at me.

"Most men would be happy at the fact that a woman wanted to come home with them."

_If you were that woman, I would…_

"Not me, She's not my type at all. Glittery dress, high heels, shallow and greedy …"

Quietly, Bella asked, "What is your type?"

"I prefer brunettes." I told her truthfully, and then blanched. _Did I really just say that?_

But she didn't even seem to blink at the suggestive statement about her hair. "I guess she's a blonde?"

"Yeah, bleach blonde." I paused. "Okay, Bella. Let's figure this out. How do you get a gold-digging, vapid, guy-crazy girl away from a guy?"

She bit her lip and thought for a minute. Then she looked up into my eyes, uncertainly. "Another girl?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, motioning her to continue.

"Say…the guy had another girl? A girlfriend? Then she'd have competition, right?" Bella said, still looking unsure.

I blinked twice and paused. "Bella… you're amazing!"

"Er…Thank you?" She giggled adorably.

"You're welcome." I smiled. "What if we…pretended to date. It would get Tanya off of my back, and James off of yours, right? Think about it."

Goddamn the fucking lip biting. "It could work…Yeah, I think that could work." She was starting to smile.

God why didn't I think of this before? Pretending to be Bella's boyfriend? It was fucking perfect.

"Great," I told her excitedly. "First things first, I need to find Alice and tell her I'm leaving. We drove separately. I would call her, but she'd never hear her phone in the crowd. Did you drive?"

"No, my apartment is really close, I just walked." She told me.

"Oh I can't let you walk back in the dark. I'll drive you home –no questions."

She pursed her lips and her eyebrows furrowed but I gave her a look and she didn't argue. I had a feeling I was going to become pretty fucking protective over her.

"Alright. Hopefully we don't even run into them. Maybe we should just call Alice just to see if she will answer."

Nodding, I slid my iPhone from my pocket and called her, but she didn't answer. I tried one more time before I put my phone back into my pocket. I noticed Bella staring at the slither of skin that was exposed when I reached into my pocket, and when I caught her eye, she blushed and looked down.

Smiling secretively, I offered her my arm. "You ready?" I asked, as I slid her bag up onto my other shoulder.

"I guess. It's going to be pretty fucking embarrassing walking out of here together." She told me.

"Are you saying I'm embarrassing?" I teased.

Bella swatted my arm and laughed. "No, I meant because two people aren't supposed to be in here. People will assume…"

"Assume what?" I breathed, looping my arm through hers, and leaning in closer.

I heard her gulp and she looked down at the floor. "That we were…you know…"

"I know what?" I pushed.

Bella looked up at me, blushing, but fierce. "Stop teasing! They will assume we were fucking or something."

I sucked in a breath and felt my pants grow a little tighter at that phrase coming from her mouth. "Well, let them think what they want. Again, are you ready?"

"Yeah." She smiled up at me, and I felt my breath hitch. "As I'll ever be."


End file.
